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It's taking a lot of courage for me to write this post as it's very personal but i feel like it's an experience i'd like to ...

Sunday 9 October 2016

Finally, that confidence boost

I cannot believe that it has almost been a year since i wrote my last blog post. A lot has happened during this time, it has been quite eventful indeed...

Yesterday, i attended a family wedding, surrounded by loving family and friends, in which i had some interesting discussions with some very interesting people (along with lots of drinking, dancing and very bad singing), which led me to feeling extremely inspired again. I have also received multiple comments about how i should start blog writing again, and here i am.

So, let me fill you in about what has been happening...

First of all, i do not want to bore you, so i'll not go into every little detail. Here we go... I feel like i am at that age (24) where you learn some of the most important lessons in your life. This last year has been somewhat of a roller coaster. I have learnt a lot about myself and others. I have come to discover how much of a sensitive person i am, and although i don't like to admit it, i have sadly allowed people to criticise, degrade and intimidate me (not cool). I have also learnt that i do not take things with a pinch of salt, i take everything to heart and this has recently led me to lose a lot of self confidence.

However, only i can change this. So far, i have learnt to walk away from all the negativity and learnt to do what's best for me and actually do what makes me happy, and not others. I noticed i was feeling very uncomfortable around a lot of people because i was trying to be someone i wasn't... i constantly worry about what people think... This has to stop, it's exhausting.

I'm sharing this with you because i know i am not alone and i just want you to know that it's so important to be yourself, people should want to accept you for who you are. One of the worst feelings is feeling like you're misunderstood. You have to remember, people lead very different life's, we've all walked in different shoes. To try and understand what someone else is or going through, isn't easy and some people are not willing to to even try or  they think they know, but they just don't. But, nobody is perfect. Everyone has their weaknesses and everyone has their strengths. At the end of the day, we are all human but constantly trying to please everyone else is so unhealthy for you. Since i realised all of this and actually started doing something about it, like putting myself first for once, worrying less and just going with the flow, i literally feel like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders.

It is also important to know who to confide in, which is those who believe in you, who push you to do well (as daunting as that is sometimes). Like i said, it has been a roller coaster, the only thing that has kept me strong throughout my recent struggle, has been surrounding myself with amazing friends and family. I have been to three amazing weddings, three of the most fun hen party's, birthdays, festivals, etc, etc.... it has been a fantastic summer.

I have now got myself a new lovely job and i have also took it upon myself to go back to college to study GCSE English again. English has been one of my weak points,  however, im determined to do what i need to do in order to help myself with my future and my self confidence. So far it's going great and i am really enjoying it. There is still a long way to go, but i feel like i have come a long way and i know there are a lot of people out there who care and want to help me, which makes me very happy.

I might have taken a step back, but sometimes you have to take a step back to take 10 steps forward.

Onwards and Upwards!